Modified Bed Rest + Tons of Water =

an increase in amniotic fluid! The fluid around Baby B increased to a 5 as of yesterday. Yay!

My OB did an anatomy scan of both babies. Everything looked great. All their organs and body parts looked just as they should. They still weren't cooperating on camera and we don't have a solid gender prediction for Baby B, but he was convinced A was a girl last time. But for right now, healthy is all I need to know.  Baby B is only 10% smaller than A, which is a big improvement from a month ago.

I have to continue modified bed rest and drink as much water as I can. I am really thankful my bosses let me telework from my recliner full time. I have a follow up with the MFM on December 6th for another anatomy scan. My OB feels like having a second set of eyes and a fluid check is a good idea.

So... hopefully I am in for an uneventful and boring 3 weeks. :)

Bad news, yet again.

Apparently I got too excited after my last good appointment. Reality had to come back and smack me in the face. I had another ultrasound with my OB yesterday. Baby A looks fantastic and is officially a girl! However that Baby B is back to it's old tricks again. Apparently the fluid level around that baby is drastically low (2.9). Anything under 8 is considered low. If it gets much lower they are going to either hospitalize me to try and keep me from going into pre-term labor or they may even have to perform a surgery to try and fix the low fluid problem (I'm too scared to Google what kind of surgery this may be). 

I have no idea about any of this and they didn't get me much information other than to go home, be on modified bed rest again, and drink as much water as I can handle. I have been on Google trying to see what could be the cause of this and what the potential outcome could be and it scared the hell out of me. Basically, if my fluid drops much below 2 that baby will not be able to stay in there and I could loose both of them. One baby is measuring 20 weeks and the other 19w3d, so I still have a good 15 weeks to go and I am having serious doubts that these little ones will make it that far. I'm scared that something is going to happen and they will be born extremely premature and I am even more scared that they won't make it to viability. 

I know there is nothing that I can do but rest and drink water. But I just feel so helpless. Next fluid check and ultrasound is on the 14th. 

Cautiously Optimistic

I had another appointment with the OB yesterday and I am starting to get a little optimistic about this pregnancy. I had a little black-out moment at work when I stood up so I called my OB. Since I had an appointment that day already scheduled, he just told me to come in so he could see how I was doing. They did an u/s and both babies looked very good. They were moving and waving and had good heartbeats. He could also see the little sacs of their stomachs (which I guess is some milestone). Baby A measured 17w and Baby B measured 16w3d, so things are right on track! My blood pressure was high and he thinks I am a little dehydrated. So he sent me home and told me to relax and drink water. I did finally gain some weight this week. So that's basically it. I go back in another 2 weeks for a quick ultrasound and then my anatomy scan is scheduled for November 14th.

I am starting to feel them move more and more. My uterus is measuring 6 weeks ahead so it looks/feels like I am 23 weeks pregnant. I personally just think I look like my fat is pushed out but people at work and other places are stopping me and asking me how far along I am, so I guess I do look pregnant. So far the funniest moments are when they will both be still and one will move and suddenly the other starts to move like crazy. I think they like to wake each other up and have little cage fights.

We just found out we will be providing respite care for Baby K from November 6-9th. I'm excited to see her again and I am sure she has changed and grown a lot in a month!

Finally, good appointment! Goodbye to Baby K :(

I saw the OB yesterday afternoon and all is well! My bleeding, while still present, is starting to slow down quite a bit. Both babies were moving and even trying to head butt each other. Apparently sibling rivalry starts early. Baby A was measuring almost 15 weeks and Baby B was just 5 days behind. They aren't worried about B as much because the sac is starting to expand and he/she has move room to move around. It was my first appointment that didn't have a lot of drama and emotion associated with it. It felt so good! My ute is measuring almost 20 weeks! So I look and feel very pregnant. I even felt some movement over the last several days. It's a strange, but wonderful feeling. It's like they are saying "hello mommy... we are hereeeeee!". And they really like Coke Slurpees too...by the way.

The doctor told me I need to start relaxing and work on enjoying being pregnant. I am still having lots of nausea and dizziness, especially in the evening. And I haven't been able to eat. I try really hard but I am down 16 pounds since we did our IVF and have lost 5 pounds in the last 12 days. He said he really isn't worried about me gaining a ton of weight right now, but I need to maintain. So at the suggestion of my wonderful friends I went down and bought myself some "Muscle Milk" today. It is a shake that contains 25g of protein and will give me some nutrients. I didn't love drinking it, but it is better than eating meat!

Today is our last day with Baby K. She is transitioning to her new home at 330pm. I am really sad to see her go, but it was the right decision for all of us. After talking with the social workers we feel like the situation wasn't one we were comfortable with and I just don't have the emotional stability to handle all of this for another 2 years, on top of being pregnant and having newborn twins. We are still going to have contact with her and in fact we are going to babysit for a weekend in November. So we are saying goodbye, but not goodbye forever.

Thanks to all my friends who have been so supportive throughout all these ups and downs. I couldn't have made it this far without you. I know this is far from over and I still have a long way to go, but it really helps just to know I am not alone. Love you all!

And back up we go!

I had my follow up with the specialist today. It appears that the bleeding has stopped and the remaining blood mass has almost worked its way out of my uterus. So that's good news. The other good news is that the NT scans are back on the babies and both of them look "normal". Baby A was measuring 13w1d and Baby B 12w3d. So they are about 5 days apart which is acceptable and considered normal for many twin pregnancies. The specialist says we have no reason to worry at this time and as far as he can tell (today) things are progressing nicely and I am having a normal twin pregnancy. WOW! Talk about the turn around. I can't help but wonder what is going to happen next week. It seems like all this is so up and down. But I am very thankful for the good news today.

Of course with every good news there has to be some bad, right? We have found out a couple of weeks ago that there is some changes going on with the legal case regarding K. I can't really get into too much detail because it's still in courts, but basically we are at a crossroads of whether to continue fostering her, or let her go to another family. We are meeting with social workers this week and are trying to come to the decision that is going to be best for K and us. Ultimately we want whats best for her but we need to protect ourselves as well. Hopefully a decision can be reached that is best for everyone. I will fill in the gaps more when we get things decided.

I don't like roller coasters.

Had my appointment with the Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist today.
Bad news: There is a big bloody mass floating around in my uterus that is not a placenta and is not remains. It is leaking some blood in my ute and that's what caused all of my bleeding the other day. It is more than just blood, it has some kind of hard tissue as well. Next time I pass some they want me to save the tissue so they can test it. 

Good news: This large mass was completely covering Baby B when I went into the ER last week. So Baby B is still alive. The OB's ultrasound equipment couldn't see it because that mass is too dense and it was surrounding it. The MFM had a better machine and was able to do some fancy scan to see behind it today. The NT scans were done and Baby A looks perfect. Baby B is ok, but the sac around it still doesn't look like it should. 

At this point they are very concerned because I am still leaking blood. Since blood is coming out that means that bacteria can go in. They are worried that bacteria is going to go up inside my ute and cause a blood infection that could possibly be fatal to me if undetected. So... I have to go back to the MFM every week until things resolve (if they resolve). He said it is still a 50/50 chance with this pregnancy. I am just tired of this roller coaster. Even though I am happy B is alive, I am still just terrified of not only loosing the babies, but now my own health could be in jeopardy.

And, we wait.

I went in for a follow-up ultrasound this morning. Baby "A" (which we are now going to change to Baby "S" so I don't cry every time I say it and remember there was a "B") ... is doing well. We saw a good heart beat and it was taking a nice nap. I have a picture but I can't scan right now, so I'll have to share later.

The OB saw some other things on the ultrasound that concerned him. He isn't quite sure what is going on and since there is still bleeding on and off, he is sending me to the Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist on Wednesday. They are going to do an NT scan and some other "fancy" scan that can give us a better idea of what is going on in my ute. He said that things still don't look ideal and we need to continue to monitor the situation closely.

I thought that being 12 weeks pregnant I would feel some relief and happiness. Almost 2nd tri! But alas, I feel just frustrated and unsure of everything. I am tired of the waiting. Tired of the ups and downs. I really hope the MFM tells me that things look great and I no longer need to worry. Until then... as usual... we wait.