I had my follow up with the specialist today. It appears that the bleeding has stopped and the remaining blood mass has almost worked its way out of my uterus. So that's good news. The other good news is that the NT scans are back on the babies and both of them look "normal". Baby A was measuring 13w1d and Baby B 12w3d. So they are about 5 days apart which is acceptable and considered normal for many twin pregnancies. The specialist says we have no reason to worry at this time and as far as he can tell (today) things are progressing nicely and I am having a normal twin pregnancy. WOW! Talk about the turn around. I can't help but wonder what is going to happen next week. It seems like all this is so up and down. But I am very thankful for the good news today.
Of course with every good news there has to be some bad, right? We have found out a couple of weeks ago that there is some changes going on with the legal case regarding K. I can't really get into too much detail because it's still in courts, but basically we are at a crossroads of whether to continue fostering her, or let her go to another family. We are meeting with social workers this week and are trying to come to the decision that is going to be best for K and us. Ultimately we want whats best for her but we need to protect ourselves as well. Hopefully a decision can be reached that is best for everyone. I will fill in the gaps more when we get things decided.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I don't like roller coasters.
Had my appointment with the Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist today.
Bad news: There is a big bloody mass floating around in my uterus that is not a placenta and is not remains. It is leaking some blood in my ute and that's what caused all of my bleeding the other day. It is more than just blood, it has some kind of hard tissue as well. Next time I pass some they want me to save the tissue so they can test it.
Good news: This large mass was completely covering Baby B when I went into the ER last week. So Baby B is still alive. The OB's ultrasound equipment couldn't see it because that mass is too dense and it was surrounding it. The MFM had a better machine and was able to do some fancy scan to see behind it today. The NT scans were done and Baby A looks perfect. Baby B is ok, but the sac around it still doesn't look like it should.
At this point they are very concerned because I am still leaking blood. Since blood is coming out that means that bacteria can go in. They are worried that bacteria is going to go up inside my ute and cause a blood infection that could possibly be fatal to me if undetected. So... I have to go back to the MFM every week until things resolve (if they resolve). He said it is still a 50/50 chance with this pregnancy. I am just tired of this roller coaster. Even though I am happy B is alive, I am still just terrified of not only loosing the babies, but now my own health could be in jeopardy.
Bad news: There is a big bloody mass floating around in my uterus that is not a placenta and is not remains. It is leaking some blood in my ute and that's what caused all of my bleeding the other day. It is more than just blood, it has some kind of hard tissue as well. Next time I pass some they want me to save the tissue so they can test it.
Good news: This large mass was completely covering Baby B when I went into the ER last week. So Baby B is still alive. The OB's ultrasound equipment couldn't see it because that mass is too dense and it was surrounding it. The MFM had a better machine and was able to do some fancy scan to see behind it today. The NT scans were done and Baby A looks perfect. Baby B is ok, but the sac around it still doesn't look like it should.
At this point they are very concerned because I am still leaking blood. Since blood is coming out that means that bacteria can go in. They are worried that bacteria is going to go up inside my ute and cause a blood infection that could possibly be fatal to me if undetected. So... I have to go back to the MFM every week until things resolve (if they resolve). He said it is still a 50/50 chance with this pregnancy. I am just tired of this roller coaster. Even though I am happy B is alive, I am still just terrified of not only loosing the babies, but now my own health could be in jeopardy.
Monday, September 19, 2011
And, we wait.
I went in for a follow-up ultrasound this morning. Baby "A" (which we are now going to change to Baby "S" so I don't cry every time I say it and remember there was a "B") ... is doing well. We saw a good heart beat and it was taking a nice nap. I have a picture but I can't scan right now, so I'll have to share later.
The OB saw some other things on the ultrasound that concerned him. He isn't quite sure what is going on and since there is still bleeding on and off, he is sending me to the Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist on Wednesday. They are going to do an NT scan and some other "fancy" scan that can give us a better idea of what is going on in my ute. He said that things still don't look ideal and we need to continue to monitor the situation closely.
I thought that being 12 weeks pregnant I would feel some relief and happiness. Almost 2nd tri! But alas, I feel just frustrated and unsure of everything. I am tired of the waiting. Tired of the ups and downs. I really hope the MFM tells me that things look great and I no longer need to worry. Until then... as usual... we wait.
The OB saw some other things on the ultrasound that concerned him. He isn't quite sure what is going on and since there is still bleeding on and off, he is sending me to the Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist on Wednesday. They are going to do an NT scan and some other "fancy" scan that can give us a better idea of what is going on in my ute. He said that things still don't look ideal and we need to continue to monitor the situation closely.
I thought that being 12 weeks pregnant I would feel some relief and happiness. Almost 2nd tri! But alas, I feel just frustrated and unsure of everything. I am tired of the waiting. Tired of the ups and downs. I really hope the MFM tells me that things look great and I no longer need to worry. Until then... as usual... we wait.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Goodbye Baby B. :(
We lost Baby B on Wednesday morning. This is my 6th loss. I was at work, it happened in the bathroom stall. It was terrible. I went into the hospital to meet my OB immediately and they did an ultrasound to confirm that Baby B was gone. I am in shock because just the day before I had seen Baby B on an ultrasound, waving its arm with a good heartbeat. I know the sac still didn't look good and it was measuring a little too far behind, but some part of me still had hope. My OB cancelled the MFM appointment and is going to monitor me himself going forward. I feel good with that.
As if last Wednesday Baby A still alive and looks fine. I should be around 12 weeks on Monday based on our IVF timing. I keep forgetting to ask what Baby A is measuring, but he always tells me there is "appropriate growth". I am back on bed rest (again) and go in on Monday morning (tomorrow) to get another look at Baby A and see how things are going. For now the bleeding has stopped. I have some brown spotting, but that is to be expected. I am no longer having cramps and I still feel the full range of pregnancy symptoms. To my surprise my food aversions and morning sickness have not decreased. I know that's a good sign so we are remaining hopeful.
Thank you for your thoughts and support throughout this rollercoaster. It means a lot to me to know that I have so many wonderful friends. I hope that one day I am able to repay all of you for the kindness and support you have shown me.
Goodbye, sweet Baby B. You will be missed. <3
As if last Wednesday Baby A still alive and looks fine. I should be around 12 weeks on Monday based on our IVF timing. I keep forgetting to ask what Baby A is measuring, but he always tells me there is "appropriate growth". I am back on bed rest (again) and go in on Monday morning (tomorrow) to get another look at Baby A and see how things are going. For now the bleeding has stopped. I have some brown spotting, but that is to be expected. I am no longer having cramps and I still feel the full range of pregnancy symptoms. To my surprise my food aversions and morning sickness have not decreased. I know that's a good sign so we are remaining hopeful.
Thank you for your thoughts and support throughout this rollercoaster. It means a lot to me to know that I have so many wonderful friends. I hope that one day I am able to repay all of you for the kindness and support you have shown me.
Goodbye, sweet Baby B. You will be missed. <3
Monday, September 12, 2011
Update
Sorry I have been MIA. I was put on bed rest a few weeks ago because I started bleeding (hemorraging) in a gas station bathroom on my way to a family reunion. I got to ride in an ambulance. Not as fun as you'd think.
So after 2 weeks of bedrest and 2 ultrasounds, we still don't really have an update on Baby B. Basically it looks bad. Not a healthy sac, no definable yolk sac, placenta abruption, measuring too far behind.. yet it still has a strong heartbeat. Baby A looks perfect and was moving around on the last ultrasound. So our next step is another ultrasound tomorrow morning to see if B is still around. If he/she is, then we have to head to the Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist to find out what our next step is to protect Baby A and give him/her the best chance. The doctor is convinced that B isn't going to make it and his concern is that B will hang on a little too long and then take A out with it. I'm not sure what to think at this point. Just kinda numb about it all. I'll update tomorrow.
So after 2 weeks of bedrest and 2 ultrasounds, we still don't really have an update on Baby B. Basically it looks bad. Not a healthy sac, no definable yolk sac, placenta abruption, measuring too far behind.. yet it still has a strong heartbeat. Baby A looks perfect and was moving around on the last ultrasound. So our next step is another ultrasound tomorrow morning to see if B is still around. If he/she is, then we have to head to the Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist to find out what our next step is to protect Baby A and give him/her the best chance. The doctor is convinced that B isn't going to make it and his concern is that B will hang on a little too long and then take A out with it. I'm not sure what to think at this point. Just kinda numb about it all. I'll update tomorrow.
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